onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
