btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
