Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
