Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
