I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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