YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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