i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
