I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
