billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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