did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
