I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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