Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
