I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
