i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
