Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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