I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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