All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
