absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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