Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
