No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
