You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
