she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i've created a new STD.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
