I look better un-naked...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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