She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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