I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize