hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
