when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize