At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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