How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
