butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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