Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
