apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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