I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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