I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
