I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize