oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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