"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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