Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize