I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
