Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
