Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
