So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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