Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize