What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
