my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
