And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
either way he was missing a nipple.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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