Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
