dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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