If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
