mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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