those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Still dying that you shit outside
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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