bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
