im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Apparently you make a good broom.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
