Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This is not my ceiling
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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