Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
