don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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