Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
