Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
