you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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