There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
